Night of Revelation

Good evening all,


Sorry about the delay, it has been about 5.5 days since my last entry and honestly it has been a roller coaster and somewhat disappointing. Well to start things off, I have been avoiding the gym, no regular activity since last week. Some of my absence ( from the gym) was due to the fact that I was coming down with a something, just a cold thankfully. But the rest was due to laziness and sneaky depression ugh!! But as I was talking to my sister and I was telling of my feelings, and it's almost like there is person inside of me hiding behind what I felt I "should" be. All the things I like I am afraid of, so maybe that is why God is not telling me what my gifts are. I already know them but they are hidden in fear. Then it is also fear that births laziness and conplacence. I avoid the very gifts I was given and maybe God feels like I have rejected him and those gifts. Ugh there is so much to write I just feel overwhelmed. To sum it all up, Lord Reveal what is already in me. What exactly did you give me to use for your kingdom? and if it will help why did i quit so many things as a child. So that's why my prayers about spiritual gifts were not getting through!!! because i was praying for what they are or rather something else rather than focusing on what I already have. Wow he just answered my prayer about getting to know myself. I prayed for a starting place,and I feel like i need to start in the areas that scare me the most, writing and singing. He said start by doing what you already like to do, your discernment will kick in if it something that is off. What about the writing though, honestly for my counseling session I have felt compelled to write down my feelings throughout the week, because it will better keep track of what I have been doing. But honestly, Alot of the times I just don't feel like writing, and would it be lame if all I did for the day was write? At the end of the day it is your choice.

until next time happy reading
Aleta