well this time I only went about 3 months without keeping up. I guess the positive thing is that the time span is getting shorter, thats one step.
Well it's May and school has just ended. I have been academically free for 8 days now and i was blessed to have a job for the summer. The problem is i dont have a life plan. This is sort of a big deal because i graduate in one year, I havent applied to any grad schools or scholarships. But this year should be different.
You know one thing i have noticed about me is that i make lots of empty promises to myself. Always planning to change something, starting something, or become something, but I never just be. Why is that?
Well let's look at the stats shall we?
I just finished my fourth year of school
I'm a theater major with a cinema studies minor ( random)
i have this overwhelming fascination for relationships
i really like the color pink
i am alive
i talk about myself ALOT! ( in the negative mostly)
ihave no clue what i want to do with my life
i avoid time with God
there's hope and its not over.
i am totally clueless about myself and how i operate
i know how i should or want to operate as a person
i put an insane amount of pressure on myself
i feel convicted when i dont write regularly.
i can be EXTREMELY LAZY!!!
i feel pressure (from me or others not sure which) to be something im really not.
could that be potential? i don't know.
You know what enough of this already I'm just going to do it. Last year i fasted from facebook for thirty days and it was very liberating. I read Pslams 139 ( i think) one verse everyday. but after that i just relasped back into facebook
so i am just going to document this process but with a different intent. These entries are going to be raw and "uncut" if you will. No swearing ( i will try my best) but there will be days where its gonna suck cuz this is a lazy person actually doing something so it wont be pretty but darn it! i cant live like this anymore.
So in like 7 hours maybe sixish lol i will begin this process. goodnight
see ya soon :)
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