Good evening readers,
well people honestly I don't know how to start this one off. Today was an interesting day, I finally got the nerve to start reading the play for this semester at UT, that I want to audition for. It was hard at first to get myself started, but once I became serious about reading it was actually really fun to read . I hope can keep this up, and I hope once auditions begin, I will feel more confident about my God appointed career choice.
This evening before I started my blog I was watching Joyce Meyer and she was talking about being content and obedience. It seems like I have been hearing alot about these two themes alot lately. Maybe being content in a situation makes it easier to obey the directions that will eventually move you forward to the place you desire to go.
HM.
Well anyway, as the title suggests, tonight's reading was about giving. Not just giving but being eager about it. This has been a very tough subject for me because I have been the type to get something and hoard for fear of losing it. But here Paul encourages the Corinithian Church to give as they did in the past. He tells them how they have excelled in other areas of their relationship with Christ and now it is time to start sharing the gifts that God shared with them. This is very hard for me honestly because I don't like to give. It makes me feel very vulnerable and just uncomfortable. As I write this now, I am having a hard time focusing on this topic because I JUST don't like to do it. I don't trust people and I feel like if I put myself out there and really commit to giving, it's like they see that and take advantage of this situation. So I feel like why should I break my neck to help someone out when all they may do it take it harm me. Then I look silly for allowing that to happen. hm. My view of love and giving (especially money) are very similar. I think it is because it has to do with releasing and opening my hand. But maybe I have been opening my hand and heart to the wrong source. I have been placing my sole trust in people instead of God. But it's really hard to trust because not only can I not see him, he does not answer me right away so for a few days I feel crazy and start to wonder if he even heard me.
This is going to be an interesting transition process.
Until next time readers, happy reading
Aleta
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