The Lord has really been moving in my life lately. Currently we are working on developing my trust and patience. Man am i learning that i am one impatient person!!! Whooo and stubborn too. Anyway, everyday day ( well i strive for everyday) I read Romans chapter 7 one verse at a time. I started this at the beginning of July, fell off and have been getting back up through out the month. Currently i am on verse 17 which states:
"so I am not the doing wrong, it is the sin living within me that does it"
Now this really made me think, this is not me being impatient or pushy, but rather as i learned earlier in the chapter, the sinful nature dwelling inside of me. Honestly, when i first let this idea roll through my head, it sounded like an excuse. i mean come on now, your telling me some dark evil spirit gets inside my heart and controls my thoughts, motives,actions, and everything else? HA!!! but as i kept thinking there is also something inside of me that makes me feel bad for this actions, makes me stop and think before i send that suggestive text... NOW whats that all about? Just like there is something that convicts me for these actions there is another "something" in me that condones (spelling?) these actions.... Hmmmm
now that could be interesting and now this idea of a sinful nature doesn't sound so crazy.
Ok so i know it's not me and i've also learned because think what i am doing is wrong i agree that God's way is good and good FOR me... ok........ soooooo now what??
This is where God chimes in, he says : There is nothing you can do except give it to me and TRUST ME to fill you with my SPIRIT. SHOW ME THAT YOU LOVE ME.
hmmmmm... so there is nothing to do except... accept that i can't do anything without him. I'm broken and need help. Accept that im not perfect, there are ungodly things inside me and the ONLY "something" that can clense me is Him. so next i vented on paper naturally lol. WHOOOOOO that felt amazing i just let out all the things i feel and what scares me most and now you know we are on a journey to replenish and renew me.... it was wonderful honestly. Who knew such healing could come from such pain??? I Didn't. I am on my way some where... really, and i want to take you with me. IT'S SOOOO WORTH IT.
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