I had to read this chapter a few times because i really wanted to hear from the Holy Spirit. In Summary this chapter Paul discussed the importance of the church family getting along with each other. From my understanding he really didnt get into why that was important except the fact that it leads to believers paying more attention to WHO is giving the message and less to WHERE the message is coming from. He also talks about how the world views the message from the Lord as silliness and absurd.
The world would rather give credit to itself than even aknowledge God. That is why Paul said the Jews of this time period needed big demonstrations and the Greeks rely on logic from Philosophers instead of trusting in God.
Paul then goes on to talk about why God chose the down and outs and nobodies. This is because they are less likely to get by simply on their own knowledge, it is almost like they have no choice but to turn to God in order to be somebody. It makes sense though, if the world doesn't want them who would? Jesus. that is all we need as believers we, dont have to prove anything, earn anything, its all free. Now in the natural it will cost friends, some family members, jobs, money, popularity, and other important natural possesions but in the end it is all worth the risk.
In my own life, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that the reason i cannot completely function in my gifts is because the focus is MY gifts and not the creator who gave them to me. Currently I am missing the whole point of the gifts, and that is to glorify his name and demonstrate his power. Instead i seek recognition,reward, and attention and pay little ( literally) attention to Christ and what he has done. I don't trust him enough so that is why i am going through this demolition process. I need to tear down all the barriers standing in between he and I. That includes, food, money, my car, friendships, romantic relationships, just everything. It's hard but atleast i understand now. I have to completely submit my will unto him before he can unleash the power inside of me because the right Person has to get credit and as it stands now he wouldn't.
well he turned an ok day one, into a great day one.
Until chapter 2 happy reading
Aleta
Saturday, May 14, 2011
day 1: not a great start
i apologize already,
in my last entry i said would write as soon as i woke up... well its about 12 hours later and i am just now writing, forgive me. I completely forgot plus by the time i did remeber it i didnt have enough time to do it before work. So i am already off to a not so great start, oh well Rome wasn't built in a day right? exactly so moving forward.
Last night after i logged off I had trouble sleeping, so i opened my bible and i read Acts 2 which talked about the Holy spirit and how he helps believers throughtout their daily walk. He acts as a guide or rather is a guide and a comforter.
This chapter specifically talked about an occasion when the holy spirit manifested a group of people and they began to speak in foreign languages worshiping God, this was proof of the power of the Holy Spirit.
This struck me because i had an understanding as to why i havent experienced the fullness of the my spiritual gifts and that is because i give glory to myself rather to God. I am not going to lie to you, i am having a hard time writing this because there are alot of things on my mind right now that are just irking, one thing in particular i want to take a brief nap but i can't. I'm just so tired and frustrated i have no clue what to do.
i have to stop and pray for now... i will write a better later
in my last entry i said would write as soon as i woke up... well its about 12 hours later and i am just now writing, forgive me. I completely forgot plus by the time i did remeber it i didnt have enough time to do it before work. So i am already off to a not so great start, oh well Rome wasn't built in a day right? exactly so moving forward.
Last night after i logged off I had trouble sleeping, so i opened my bible and i read Acts 2 which talked about the Holy spirit and how he helps believers throughtout their daily walk. He acts as a guide or rather is a guide and a comforter.
This chapter specifically talked about an occasion when the holy spirit manifested a group of people and they began to speak in foreign languages worshiping God, this was proof of the power of the Holy Spirit.
This struck me because i had an understanding as to why i havent experienced the fullness of the my spiritual gifts and that is because i give glory to myself rather to God. I am not going to lie to you, i am having a hard time writing this because there are alot of things on my mind right now that are just irking, one thing in particular i want to take a brief nap but i can't. I'm just so tired and frustrated i have no clue what to do.
i have to stop and pray for now... i will write a better later
Friday, May 13, 2011
I'm back again
well this time I only went about 3 months without keeping up. I guess the positive thing is that the time span is getting shorter, thats one step.
Well it's May and school has just ended. I have been academically free for 8 days now and i was blessed to have a job for the summer. The problem is i dont have a life plan. This is sort of a big deal because i graduate in one year, I havent applied to any grad schools or scholarships. But this year should be different.
You know one thing i have noticed about me is that i make lots of empty promises to myself. Always planning to change something, starting something, or become something, but I never just be. Why is that?
Well let's look at the stats shall we?
I just finished my fourth year of school
I'm a theater major with a cinema studies minor ( random)
i have this overwhelming fascination for relationships
i really like the color pink
i am alive
i talk about myself ALOT! ( in the negative mostly)
ihave no clue what i want to do with my life
i avoid time with God
there's hope and its not over.
i am totally clueless about myself and how i operate
i know how i should or want to operate as a person
i put an insane amount of pressure on myself
i feel convicted when i dont write regularly.
i can be EXTREMELY LAZY!!!
i feel pressure (from me or others not sure which) to be something im really not.
could that be potential? i don't know.
You know what enough of this already I'm just going to do it. Last year i fasted from facebook for thirty days and it was very liberating. I read Pslams 139 ( i think) one verse everyday. but after that i just relasped back into facebook
so i am just going to document this process but with a different intent. These entries are going to be raw and "uncut" if you will. No swearing ( i will try my best) but there will be days where its gonna suck cuz this is a lazy person actually doing something so it wont be pretty but darn it! i cant live like this anymore.
So in like 7 hours maybe sixish lol i will begin this process. goodnight
see ya soon :)
Well it's May and school has just ended. I have been academically free for 8 days now and i was blessed to have a job for the summer. The problem is i dont have a life plan. This is sort of a big deal because i graduate in one year, I havent applied to any grad schools or scholarships. But this year should be different.
You know one thing i have noticed about me is that i make lots of empty promises to myself. Always planning to change something, starting something, or become something, but I never just be. Why is that?
Well let's look at the stats shall we?
I just finished my fourth year of school
I'm a theater major with a cinema studies minor ( random)
i have this overwhelming fascination for relationships
i really like the color pink
i am alive
i talk about myself ALOT! ( in the negative mostly)
ihave no clue what i want to do with my life
i avoid time with God
there's hope and its not over.
i am totally clueless about myself and how i operate
i know how i should or want to operate as a person
i put an insane amount of pressure on myself
i feel convicted when i dont write regularly.
i can be EXTREMELY LAZY!!!
i feel pressure (from me or others not sure which) to be something im really not.
could that be potential? i don't know.
You know what enough of this already I'm just going to do it. Last year i fasted from facebook for thirty days and it was very liberating. I read Pslams 139 ( i think) one verse everyday. but after that i just relasped back into facebook
so i am just going to document this process but with a different intent. These entries are going to be raw and "uncut" if you will. No swearing ( i will try my best) but there will be days where its gonna suck cuz this is a lazy person actually doing something so it wont be pretty but darn it! i cant live like this anymore.
So in like 7 hours maybe sixish lol i will begin this process. goodnight
see ya soon :)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
the prodigal daughter
hello all,
it has been nearly five months since i have posted what has been happening in my walk with Christ... in these past months i have grown to know the Lord in a way that i can't even explain.It seems everyday i experience gifts from him from all directions... but with that experience comes constant attacks from the enemy.
honestly the reason i have not been blogging regularly is because even though i own a laptop... i dont have internet in my apartment and honestly its annoying typing all this from my blackberry and do I really want to drive up and down the street just to go blog? hmmm Not really. It may not seem like a big deal but not having these basic modes of communication make me feel inferior and frankly out of touch or "un cool" so i just avoid everything. Its like why should i do this stuff that requires the extra effort, just not worth it to me. but i have been feeling convicted for not writing for some time now. I know i have alot to say and Alot that goes on in my life and struggles that i have. I have attempted to run away so many times i have lost count honestly. But one thing that remains is that i always end up back here.... Christ that is, searching for answers and a sense of identity.
So what should i do about this? Now this is the easiest part, discussing various solutions of how to fix ones short commings and correcting not so holy desires... its easy to come running back and say " yes, father i will do right by you this time" or yes father, this time will be different!! i repent!! i am sorry, i will change to be more like you!" yes it feels good in the moment and it feels right to say at the time and maybe some of us really do have the intent of changing.
But my question is, what about three months from now? Are you still as committed to change? Do you still have that yerning desire to please Him in the way you should? or have you slipped back into the old habits and use the phrase " well he knows my heart" Please don't take this as a personal attack because i am by no means perfect and i only speak on what i know and i know it because i have/ am currently doing it. This is my hard ship, maintaining that fresh desire and need for Christ in my life. Over and over again i find myself getting lazy and not keeping up with my promises... when does it stop... honestly? when do we stop treating God like a one night stand or submissive housewife or husband? When does he become truely the only thing we ever want? When our mind changes... toO many times we focus on changing the action rather than changing the decision behind the action. Romans 12:2 basically says be transformed by the renewing of your mind. you can't change what you do until you change the motive behinds those actions.
once again easier said than doNE. Prayer is KEY in this situation, well in life. Period. so if the Lord permits i would like to blog in the morning during my time with him. It wont be everyday because honestly i wont feel like it everyday...lol just being real. But i will do more because I want to be closer to him.
Enjoy
Aleta
it has been nearly five months since i have posted what has been happening in my walk with Christ... in these past months i have grown to know the Lord in a way that i can't even explain.It seems everyday i experience gifts from him from all directions... but with that experience comes constant attacks from the enemy.
honestly the reason i have not been blogging regularly is because even though i own a laptop... i dont have internet in my apartment and honestly its annoying typing all this from my blackberry and do I really want to drive up and down the street just to go blog? hmmm Not really. It may not seem like a big deal but not having these basic modes of communication make me feel inferior and frankly out of touch or "un cool" so i just avoid everything. Its like why should i do this stuff that requires the extra effort, just not worth it to me. but i have been feeling convicted for not writing for some time now. I know i have alot to say and Alot that goes on in my life and struggles that i have. I have attempted to run away so many times i have lost count honestly. But one thing that remains is that i always end up back here.... Christ that is, searching for answers and a sense of identity.
So what should i do about this? Now this is the easiest part, discussing various solutions of how to fix ones short commings and correcting not so holy desires... its easy to come running back and say " yes, father i will do right by you this time" or yes father, this time will be different!! i repent!! i am sorry, i will change to be more like you!" yes it feels good in the moment and it feels right to say at the time and maybe some of us really do have the intent of changing.
But my question is, what about three months from now? Are you still as committed to change? Do you still have that yerning desire to please Him in the way you should? or have you slipped back into the old habits and use the phrase " well he knows my heart" Please don't take this as a personal attack because i am by no means perfect and i only speak on what i know and i know it because i have/ am currently doing it. This is my hard ship, maintaining that fresh desire and need for Christ in my life. Over and over again i find myself getting lazy and not keeping up with my promises... when does it stop... honestly? when do we stop treating God like a one night stand or submissive housewife or husband? When does he become truely the only thing we ever want? When our mind changes... toO many times we focus on changing the action rather than changing the decision behind the action. Romans 12:2 basically says be transformed by the renewing of your mind. you can't change what you do until you change the motive behinds those actions.
once again easier said than doNE. Prayer is KEY in this situation, well in life. Period. so if the Lord permits i would like to blog in the morning during my time with him. It wont be everyday because honestly i wont feel like it everyday...lol just being real. But i will do more because I want to be closer to him.
Enjoy
Aleta
Thursday, September 23, 2010
makeover
Hey guys
I know its been a while. Since the last time I wrote I started classes and I have become president of the gospel choir. Also I have a part in community production. So life has been happening for me...FINALLY!!!
I feel like my spiritual makeover is taking place. Its a very hard process everyday I take a few steps forward I feel as though something whether its a thought or action pulls me back.
But I did receive steps to this makeover thanks to a certain bishop last sunday ( loved it :)
Step 1
Except responsibility for your actions: wow way easier said than done! Whether its a smart mouth (ME!!!),arrogance,low self esteem whatever, know that you are responsible.
Step2
Believe in change: know that your condition is not permanent. But also know the only one that has power to change you is Christ!! You can't change alone
Step 3
Commit to doing what it takes to change:whether its changing your friends, your speech just do it!
Step 4
Pray and obey :nuff said :)
Step 5
Deal with the unresolved issues
You need to let go of the past,forgive others just let Go and let God.
You know I was going to give up on this blog because it doesn't look like everyone else's but my name is not everyone else!! So I will work my way through making this blog more me
I know its been a while. Since the last time I wrote I started classes and I have become president of the gospel choir. Also I have a part in community production. So life has been happening for me...FINALLY!!!
I feel like my spiritual makeover is taking place. Its a very hard process everyday I take a few steps forward I feel as though something whether its a thought or action pulls me back.
But I did receive steps to this makeover thanks to a certain bishop last sunday ( loved it :)
Step 1
Except responsibility for your actions: wow way easier said than done! Whether its a smart mouth (ME!!!),arrogance,low self esteem whatever, know that you are responsible.
Step2
Believe in change: know that your condition is not permanent. But also know the only one that has power to change you is Christ!! You can't change alone
Step 3
Commit to doing what it takes to change:whether its changing your friends, your speech just do it!
Step 4
Pray and obey :nuff said :)
Step 5
Deal with the unresolved issues
You need to let go of the past,forgive others just let Go and let God.
You know I was going to give up on this blog because it doesn't look like everyone else's but my name is not everyone else!! So I will work my way through making this blog more me
Monday, August 16, 2010
R A. W.
ok this totally just came to me like two seconds ago.... I am sitting here in the library on facebook ( i know right... soooo productive.) anywho... I am sitting there and i visit a friend's page and i see something i don't like. Yes it really just rubs me the wrong way, i look at it, read it atleast 4-5 times and just ugh!!!!!
VENT!!!!
Then i realize, and continue to realize that i am trapped and have been trapped by this feeling for toooooooo long. This friend gets way tooo much of my time,love,energy,and just way too many of my thoughts. At one pont my entire life quality was based on whether or not i talked to this person or who this person was talking to.
HONESTLY??????????
God has been beggging me to trust Him on this situation for a long time but i was never R.A.W with God. or ready and willing. I put my entire trust in this world and it has always and continues to let me down. So here i am God ready and willing. I have a past full of pain, a present full of fear, but future full of hope. Use me
Stay tuned for updates and pics... promise :)
VENT!!!!
Then i realize, and continue to realize that i am trapped and have been trapped by this feeling for toooooooo long. This friend gets way tooo much of my time,love,energy,and just way too many of my thoughts. At one pont my entire life quality was based on whether or not i talked to this person or who this person was talking to.
HONESTLY??????????
God has been beggging me to trust Him on this situation for a long time but i was never R.A.W with God. or ready and willing. I put my entire trust in this world and it has always and continues to let me down. So here i am God ready and willing. I have a past full of pain, a present full of fear, but future full of hope. Use me
Stay tuned for updates and pics... promise :)
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